Nerd Alert

2 Characters
A New York Escort's Confessions
Atomic Clock
Culture Strain
Darp Darp
Fash Mag Slag
Go Fug Yourself
Inhibitory Links
In Passing
Intergalactic Hussy
I See Monsters
John Howard: PM
Line of Contempt
Mr Alphabet
Ms Hairy Legs
Sheets & Blankets
Spending Like It's 1988
Spirit Fingers
Suburban Camouflage
Tastes Like Drunk
The Spin Starts Here
Treading Water 101
Victim of Narcissism


Black People Love Us
Elijah Wood is Very, Very Gay
Sexy Losers
Sin Fest
Television Without Pity
Tomato Nation Three Way Action
White Ninja Comics




Friday, September 03, 2004
So. Dawei. What's the deal?


Like, who are you? Where did you come from? You're one of those wacky Aussies, aren't you?

Oh, yeah. Only just though! My parents wanted to shit me out in New Zealand where they were living, but in a fit of hormones Mother decided to move back to Australia when she was about to pop. They thought of Cairns or Melbourne, but settled in sunny Brisbane, capital of the Sunshine State. It matches my sunny disposition, non?

Yeah. Right. Anyhoo, you sound like a bit of a 'tard. Are you educated?

Actually, wiseass, I graduated in the top two percent of the state, back in the day. It was a close call; I had to repeat a year of kindergarten, as I wasn't "developed" enough (that is, I couldn't walk in a straight line or cut out traced shapes). I'm currently studying a dual degree in Arts and Sciences.

A B.A/B.Sc? What is that, two degrees in Worthless? Why not just get a "diploma" from TAFE?

Yeah, thanks, DAD. I do have future aspirations, you know!

*raised eyebrow*

Yup. I'll probably graduate next year, and then move onto... more study. Hopefully medicine, but maybe something more law-y or word-y is on the cards. My problem is I'm too talented in too many areas. I would like to travel some more, and live overseas. If I'm in Australia, I'll probably move to Sydney or Melbourne to study and work.

You sound like you're a bit of a negative cunt, and probably have borderline obsessive compulsive disorder. Do you get enjoyment from anything in life?

Sure! I mean, my tastes are varied and change frequently, but at the moment I am digging:

  • Mojitos & Lychinis
  • Hat in bar guy
  • Tofu and fake meat products
  • Upper East Siders
  • Hidden crumbs in empty packets of Twisties
  • Bonds Lo-Rider boxer briefs
  • Pad Thai Gai
  • Carrot cake
  • i-D Magazine
  • Coulommiers cheese
  • Ads in fashion magazines
  • Diet Coke
  • Carmex
  • Flirting for free martinis
  • Picking rice cracker remnants from my teeth
  • Strawberry-mint frappes
  • Leather wrist thingies and silver man-jewellery
  • Louis Vuitton clothes
  • Absolut Vanilia

    Do I really want to know what you despise?

  • Kids wearing sunglasses
  • Self photos
  • Dean
  • University
  • Denim shorts
  • Trucker hats
  • Von Dutch anything
  • Vomiting
  • Toddlers on leashes
  • People who drink the milk from their cereal bowls
  • People who pay cash
  • The phrase "short and curlies"
  • Cyclists
  • Urine with high urea
  • Drag queens
  • Perkiness
  • Umbrellas used as a form of sun protection
  • Oprah's hair
  • Automatic cars
  • Louis Vuitton luggage

    You sound like a vigourous young go-getter. Spunky and full of beans, too. I reckon you'd be totally cute as! So where's the photo?

    What is this, Gaydar? Fuck off.